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Because I Had To.

January 2, 2011

This past year I was faced with a lot of things that puzzled and perplexed me, like how any man could (allegedly) cheat on Eva Longoria or how people are still actually attracted to Prince William when Harry is clearly the sexier (and wonderfully more rebellious) prince, but one of the more serious ones put a spotlight on moving past an ex.

It takes a lot to say you know that someone isn’t the one for you. Not just that they aren’t right for you, but that they aren’t the one. So when I found myself saying those same words about an ex this year, my best friend (with whom I was discussing the ex with) asked me why I thought that. I thought for a second. Finally I responded, “Because I have to.”

Sometimes things just fall apart and stubborn pride (despite its good intentions) gets in the way of you trying to figure out why it shattered. The truth is I don’t know for sure that he wasn’t the one for me. And while we’re being truthful, I don’t know for sure that I believe in the one. While I hate to think that we’ve tapped out after just one love, I also hate to think that we’re only entitled to more than one love. Either way, when the relationship burned, I didn’t walk away knowing for sure if I’d just lost the one. I still don’t know but at a certain point, you just have to let your mind, your logic take over and cruise you into closure.

Not every relationship can be resurrected and it’s pretty easy to sense out which relationships will never rise from the dead. So if it’s one of the ones that you had pinned a good amount of hopes and dreams on, after it ends, you reach a point where you just have to tell yourself, even if you’re not really convinced of it yet, “Look, he was great, and we really got each other but he wasn’t it.” Because if you don’t, you’ll miss your chances at finding it again – whatever it is.

I moved on because I had to, because there were no other options, because the world frowns upon always wondering if you made a mistake. But more importantly than the world, life, in general, tends to frown upon frowning over lost love or lust or potential love or whatever. Regrets laced with love tend to be the worst; the most detrimental.

So you stand there, dig your toes into the ground below you, ready for some stability in your life already, even if it means losing out on something that could’ve been and you scream, to no one in particular, that you aren’t missing them at all, partially to announce to the world that you’re moving on, but mostly to announce to yourself that there is a life beyond the one.

You suck it up, you dance in the rain, you gain another badge on your singlehood soldier uniform and you promise yourself that there are parts of love that give way to reason. Not all of it is crazy. Some of it is mind over matter after all because loneliness only comes when you feel alone, like you missed out of someone who is so obviously missing out on you. You make emotional decisions with reason because there’s no emotion left to base the decisions off of.

And you know what? It’s not sad. It’s actually kind of refreshing. So go ahead, create your own closure, you just might surprise yourself.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 2, 2011 9:58 pm

    “Regrets laced with love tend to be the worst; the most detrimental.” I couldn’t possibly agree with you more! The regrets laced with love hurt the worst and seem to linger the longest. Enjoyed your post 🙂

  2. linda permalink
    November 29, 2011 8:27 am

    100% i agree with you single lyf s gud no stress u cn be happy

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